Fan Girls
by MikeJaffa
Summary: The Doctor learns that he's not the only alien who came to Earth and went native


TITLE: Fangirls  
AUTHOR: MikeJaffa  
SYNOPSIS: The Doctor learns that he's not the only alien who came to Earth and went native.  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is unrelated to any other fic I've done.  
DISCLAIMER: I own neither Doctor Who nor Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt.  
WARNING: This is a product of my silly muse, so put down all food and drink

8

8

The Doctor peaked down the alley which lead to the rear entrance of a ritzy hotel in New York City. It was five AM and the Tardis had alerted him to a spike in temporal energy in Manhattan. The signature had seemed familiar and he'd thought he would check it out.

He found himself facing a dark green van, its rear doors open and facing him. A dark-haired woman stood with his back to him and she seemed to be lecturing two statues. Their overall style reminded him of Japanese animation, but life size and in three-D. Their skin tones were normal for Caucasians, wearing white skirts with hearts on them, and tiny white wings on their shoulders. One had purple-black hair, and the other had shoulder-length blonde hair. Both had eyes and facial expressions that seemed to be painted on. And they were conspicuously still as he looked at them.

He fished his sonic sunglasses out of a hoodie pocket and put them on. The statues blazed gold with temporal energy.

"Unbelievable," he muttered. There was no doubt – the statues were really weeping angels. Why was a human in league with them? But he was as much curious about the situation as protective. Either way, it deserved his attention.

As he crept closer to the woman, he could hear her say: "…my ass if anything goes wrong so you two had better behave yourselves. UNIT's been on my case all day about the Con Ed—wait who's behind me?" She turned around. "Hello?"

"Hello," the Doctor said. "Interesting that you're talking with these statues here." He walked between them. "Very angelic in their designs."

The woman smiled. "They're life size figures of Panty and Stocking. They're being delivered for an anime convention."

"Taking place in this hotel?"

"Yes, it is."

"And when did they start making statues charged with Temporal Energy?"

The woman sighed and closed her eyes. "Let me guess. You're the Doctor."

"Indeed."

She smiled and extended her hand. "Rita Gomez, National Park Service, Liberty Island. What brings you to New York?"

The Doctor shook her hand. "A time distortion. Very consistent with weeping angels, but not quite."

Rita released the Doctor's hand and glared at the blonde angel. "So you did send the Con Ed guy back in time! I knew it."

The Doctor smiled. "And now I know how to track them."

"No, you don't," Rita said, "unless it's 'Panty' here. That distortion you picked up was a fart."

"Excuse me?"

"Angels eat temporal energy, right? So they poop it too. And fart time distortions. If you ever lost track of something and it was right where you thought it was, maybe you forgot where you put it, or maybe there's a weeping angel within ten miles of you who just broke wind."

"And the 'Con Ed Guy'?"

Rita heaved a deep breath. "The Statue of Liberty avoids having to send people back by mooching off the electric grid."

"That's nice of her."

"Yeah, but electricity to angels is like cake and ice cream to humans. And has a similar effect. That's why she's a hundred feet tall. And when she goes heavy on it, Con Ed sends someone to figure out what's going on. We usually send them away with a reasonable explanation, but Panty here just couldn't help herself. And then she lied to me, although I said I wouldn't bring them here unless they behaved themselves."

"Which brings us back to now, where the National Park service delivering a pair of weeping angels to a place chock full of victims and cameras-" Someone pinched his right butt cheek. The Doctor's head snapped and his eyes met with the blonde angel. Her facial expression had changed from neutral to a (Japanese manga artist's interpretation of a) come hither smile.

Rita forced a smile. "Sorry. Panty gets a little too much into character."

The Doctor' glare shifted back to Rita. (His eyes off Panty, she released his buttocks and sidled a little closer to him. The other angel looked a little exasperated at that. The Doctor would later remonstrate with himself over how he had let his attention wander.) "And how do you justify betraying your own kind?"

"No don't be—it's not like-" Rita broke off and thought for a moment. "Doctor, if they were human, what would you say they were doing?"

"I would say they were coming to this convention and dressing as their favorite characters."

"And that's exactly what they're doing. They're huge anime fans, and love Panty and Stocking most of all. This is how weeping angels cosplay."

"Do you expect me to believe-"

"What, that weeping angels have gone native and got into human pop culture? Why not? Have you looked at yourself lately? Or are hoodies and pajama pants found all over the universe?"

"So they're going to be at this convention just to hang out as their favorite characters."

"Right."

"Anything else?"

"Well, they also want autographs from Monica Rial and Jamie Marchi. They voiced Panty and Stocking in the US dub."

"I see. And how are they supposed to make it through the autograph line?"

"I'll do it. I'll say I'm getting them for two relatives who have disabilities that keep them away. Which isn't too far from the truth."

"I can't abide this, regardless of their intent."

"In that case…come with us! You're that worried, help me chaperone them."

"I'm hardly dressed for it, and I don't know anime that well."

"Well, the girls are sharing a perceptual filter with me, so as long as you stick close to me, no problem. As to the rest, look into my eyes."

"Why? What-" The Doctor found himself looking in Rita's eyes and thought he saw the angels' faces in her eyes when he winced at head pain and turned away.

Rita said, "You now know as much about Japanese anime as I do, and if it makes you feel better, I have an awful ice cream headache, too."

The Doctor opened his eyes. "Why did the first season end like that? And there will be a second one, mark my words!" He broke off, then looked at Rita. "That's all from them?"

"Yes. And Panty just old me she gave you the coordinates of the Con Ed guy. So you can pick him up later."

8

8

The day at the convention went better than the Doctor expected…too well. But Rita's plans worked without a hitch. Panty and Stocking – the Doctor couldn't help but think of them that way – were positioned near the ball room's entrance. Rita and the Doctor waited in the autograph line for the voice actresses. The Doctor used his alias, John Smith, and that was not a problem; he was surprised how much knowledge of anime the angels had given him. He even persuaded the actresses to pose for photos by the statues. And no one seemed to notice that he looked like he had just rolled out of bed.

The Doctor was waiting by Stocking when Rita came over. "So, thinning out, yeah? Maybe it's time to get the girls out of here. A quick 'power outage' and-" She broke off and looked past the Doctor. "oh, crap. Fuzz!"

The Doctor looked over his shoulder and saw Martha Jones coming down the hall, looking none too pleased.

The Doctor grinned. "Martha! It's me. Good to see you…"

"Hello, Doctor. Kate sent me your picture and says 'hi.'" She rounded on Rita. "And you! What did I tell you?"

Rita smiled. "We were just leaving. And the Doctor has graciously agreed to retrieve the Con Ed technician from the past, so everything works out."

"And no other shenanigans?"

"Why should there be?"

"You mean you didn't know we found Gabby in South Jersey again? Although she says she saved the universe in an alternate timeline."

The Doctor frowned. "Sorry. Who's Gabby?"

Rita was focused on Martha. "Gabby is…independent. And she's never undermined UNIT's interests."

"No so far, but my boss is still breathing fire down my neck. You have a word with her. You leaving now?"

"We were waiting for the right moment to-"

"Go now."

Rita shrugged. "Girls?"

The lights went out. The Doctor felt a piece of paper get forced into his hand. When the lights came up, the angels were gone; he heard a staircase door close.

Rita smiled. "Well, Martha, pleasure as always. Doctor?" She headed down the hall.

"Is it just me," the Doctor said, "or is UNIT tolerating some aliens on Earth?"

Martha snorted. "You're joking, right? You come and go. You're not here all the time. So we have to prioritize the threats. New York's weeping angels aren't that big a threat, and they seem to be all loyal to the city. And it's not just angels. You know what UNIT does these day? Host an all-Dalek chapter of Gambler's Anonymous. They're big on the ponies."

"Interesting. And who's Gabby?"

"Who, Gabrielle Williams? You didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"Might was well tell you. The angel who sent Amy and Rory Williams into the past, she knew them in the past. She'd used her past self as a target for sending them back in time. Not sure why she stuck to them like glue, but she did; Amy kinda sorta adopted her. They and a detective named Garner were at the tip of the spear for alien incursions in New York in the '30s and '40s. And they say Gabby is still carrying on for them. She gets her nose into all sorts of cases. Doesn't get on well with the other angels, though. They think she's a bit of a rebel, if you can believe that."

"Huh. I might like to meet her."

"You just might." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Good seeing you Doctor. Don't be too much of a stranger." She headed down the hall.

The Doctor looked at the piece of paper that had been forced into his hand. It had a note:

'Text me

'XOXOXO "Panty"'

And a phone number.

The Doctor chuckled. "Welcome to New York, Doctor."

THE END


End file.
